World's Funniest Joke

British Psychology professor Richard Wiseman polled thousands of people around the world to determine what makes a good joke. The product of the process goes something like this:

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: 'My friend is dead! What can I do?'

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: 'Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.'

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: 'OK, now what?' "

Candidate turned himself blue - Oct. 1, 2002

GREAT FALLS, Montana (AP) -- Montana's Libertarian candidate for Senate has turned blue from drinking a silver solution that he believed would protect him from disease. Stan Jones,a 63-year-old business consultant and part-time college instructor, said he started taking colloidal silver in 1999 for fear that Y2K disruptions might lead to a shortage of antibiotics. He made his own concoction by electrically charging a couple of silver wires in a glass of water.

His skin began turning blue-gray a year ago.

"People ask me if it's permanent and if I'm dead," he said. "I tell them I'm practicing for Halloween." He does not take the supplement any longer, but the skin condition, called argyria, is permanent. The condition is generally not serious. Colloidal silver dietary supplements are marketed widely as an anti-bacterial agent or immune-system booster, but some consider it quackery.

Space, military commands merger official

OFFUTT AIR FORCE BASE, Nebraska (AP) -- U.S. Space Command and the U.S. Strategic Command officially merged this week at a ceremony at Offutt Air Force Base just south of Omaha, Nebraska. Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz and Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman General Richard Meyers spoke at the ceremony.
Meyers said responsibility for the command will include computer warfare and missile defense. He says the mission's future is limited in the U.S. military only by its imagination. StratCom Commander Admiral James Ellis Junior is nominated to take over as commander of the unified mission. His nomination cleared the Senate Arms Committee and only awaits approval by the full Senate. That could happen this week. Ellis says the new organization has to think outside the box and find creative ways to protect the United States from its enemies.

[Erik says: And the militarization of space can now really take off. Expect space-based weapons Real Soon Now.]

Adam Ant punished

A judge said 80s pop idol Adam Ant had suffered a "temporary episode" of mental illness when he threatened pub customers with an imitation pistol, and sentenced him to a year's community service and rehabilitation treatment.

Justice Jeremy Roberts also ordered Ant to pay STG500 ($1440) in compensation to a man, who needed three stitches after he was hit in the head by a car alternator flung by Ant through the window of the Prince of Wales pub in Kentish Town, north London in January. "There is no question of a prison sentence here," said Roberts. "What you did was rather serious and could have had worse consequences than it did." Ant, 48, who appeared at London's Old Bailey criminal court under his real name of Stuart Goddard, had pleaded guilty to one charge of affray.

After the incident at the Prince of Wales, Ant was committed to London's Royal Free Hospital under the Mental Health Act, which allows doctors to detain patients for their own well-being. Paul Bowen, Ant's lawyer, said the singer was now having psychiatric treatment. Bowen told the court that Ant was angered when regulars at the Prince of Wales mocked his flat cap and combat jacket when he entered the pub on January 12. He later threw a car alternator through the pub window, which struck musician Pavlos Contostavlos on the back of the head. Customers pursued Ant, who threatened them with an imitation wartime starting pistol. He was later seen trying to hide the weapon under the seat of a cab which was stopped by armed police officers looking for him.

Born in south London, Goddard was midway through his studies at art school in the 1970s when he dreamed up a fantasy character called Adam Ant, a flamboyant stage persona who dressed in bondage-style outfits that made him popular with the growing punk movement. Critics hailed his music as daring for its constant reinvention and its hypnotic, African-inspired drumming, dubbed Burundi beat. He had 15 hits in three years, including "Ant Music," "Stand And Deliver," "Goody Two Shoes" and "Dog Eat Dog."

[Erik says: Just in time for the 80's comeback. Nicely done, Adam, and swift recovery. We'll need you on the front lines of VH1 soon.]

Legal threat for US 'Celebrity Survivor'

American TV network CBS and the producers of Survivor are threatening legal action against a planned American version of I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here!
Executives at CBS, which shows Survivor, said that I'm A Celebrity... in which eight minor celebrities braved the Australian outback to raise money for charity, is too similar in format to their show.
They are now tryng to stop plans by US network ABC and UK producers Granada, to bring the show to American screens.
Lawyers for CBS have told both companies that they have until Wednesday to promise, in writing "that they will not broadcast or license in the United States any programming based in whole or part on the Celebrity series."

[...]

I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here saw the likes of Tony Blackburn, Tara-Palmer Tomkinson, Nigel Benn, Darren Day, Nell McAndrew and Uri Geller stranded in the Australian jungle.

[Erik says: Uri Geller? My god! Think of the advantage his team would have in the "Bending Spoons for Matches" challenge! Mind you, I'm waiting for Pokemon Survivor, where Uri would have to face UnGeller for a million dollar prize....]