Tron, Legacy, Etc. (No Spoilers)

Before the movie, the theater showed one of those Dolby Digital Cinema ads:



This may, in retrospect, have set the bar for computer graphics a wee bit high; the way that fire burns along numbers 7, 6, and 5 is just amazing stuff.

So, when we get to see fireworks in the Grid, I somehow, you know, had expectations. Instead: 80's style laser-light geometric shapes.

Ah. Oh. Ew.

Capsule review: fun, a little sloggy toward the middle, beautiful to look at in many places, but all-in-all very Disney, and not a whole lot there.

This Takes Some Parsing

According to the Boston Herald:

"Headline: Luggage that left from Logan explodes in Fla."

First off, bravo to the Boston Herald: their incredibly misleading and sensationalist headline got them the top spot on Google News, which is where I spotted it.

Next, a big raspberry to the Boston Herald: their headline makes it sound like a terrorist cell's bomb went off on a plane in Florida; their article makes it clear this is not the case... but then skimps on the details.

The first line of the story gets even more confusing:

"A man attempting to fly a bag filled with hundreds of bullet primers from Boston to Jamaica was thwarted when a baggage handler slammed his luggage on the tarmac in Miami and detonated the minuscule explosive wafers, the FBI said."

The first part sounds like a bad urban legend or a Darwin Award entry: did you hear the one about the guy who tried to fly on a bag filled with hundreds of bullet primers? He was thwarted (thwarted? Really? That's the word you want to go with here? What, did he twirl his mustachios and cry, "Drat!"?) when a baggage handler "slammed his luggage on the tarmac."

Yeah, you read that right. That guy who broke the suitcase you were assured was gorilla-proof? He's just been made a national hero for slamming that bag. Way to scare anyone out of ever checking their luggage again, Boston Herald.

But just in case you thought anyone might have been hurt, turns out they were miniscule explosive wafers.

Like, you know, mini cayenne-flavored Nilla Wafers.

Pop, pop.

You know what else goes pop? Boston Herald journalism, when you poke it with some facts.

HPatDH(PO), No Spoilers

Rather enjoyed that, actually, as did Yoko, although she points out that Harry's attempt at a bit of scruff looks a lot like the sort of scruff you'd get at an all-girls school production of Scruffy Men What 'Aven't Shaved. What is it about British leading boys and that whole heroin chic look? (I'm talking to you, Robert Pattinson.)

Small homage moment: in the Ministry of Magic scene, where the MoM makes his way down the corridor, with hangers-on waving papers, did I detect a bit of Brazil there?

I believe I did.

Wrong Number

The phone call comes at 6 p.m. I answer it with my standard "Good evening." Gentleman with a South Asian accent tells me he's calling from Microsoft, and apparently my computer has alerted them that I have a virus.

Let's back up.

Part of my job involves taking phone calls from the the public and helping them through the process of using their computers to use our system to accomplish various and sundry goals. I'm being vague on purpose, but let's just say I do, on occasion, spend huge chunks of time walking very computer-phobic people through the use of their computers. I like to think of it as my penance for being a smart-arse, although I think you're supposed to do penance after the crime/sin, and I'm definitely using this as an excuse to sin more in this regard.

So, a Microsoft tech has called to tell me that my computer has a virus. Uh, huh. Yeah. Pull the other one, 's got bells on it. Sadly for this guy, I've gotten this call once before, and I know that asking for info is just going to get me hung up on. So I put on The Act.

Omigod! I gush. I knew it! I keep seeing these messages popping up. What do I do?

Man is smooth. He tells me he can help. Am I in front of my computer? Sure I am. I'm sitting at my Mac. That's a computer, right? Well, no need to tell him that, though. "Yes, I'm running WIndows XP!" (The only PC in our house currently runs Windows 7.)

"Okay, sir, can you see your icons?"
"My icons, um.... Yeah, I, uh...." (This? This is from a real conversation I had with a really overpaid professional once. Really.)
"Can you see your desktop, sir?"
"My desktop! Oh, yeah, my desktop, hang on." Put phone down. Type loudly on keyboard. Pick up phone. Drop phone. Pick up phone. "Oh, okay, here it is!"
"Okay, please click on the Start button."
"Wait, wait, hold on, hey, what's your number so I can call you back if I lose you? This phone is always crapping out."
Pause. Consultation with someone. "Okay, sir, my phone number is 203-051-4529. My name is Ralph." Sure, Ralph, calling me from a non-US number, why not.*
"Ralph? Huh? Can you spell that?"
"R-A-L-... P-H."
"Okay, Ralph, what do I do now?"
"Click on Start."
"Okay, um, okay, I clicked on Start. Now what?"
"Okay, sir, you should see a list of programs...." Oh, no, Ralph! Classic rookie mistake! You don't always see the programs; sometimes you see a whole mess of settings and short cuts. Ask them what they see, don't tell them.
"I don't-- I don't see, wait, I see my solitaire program."
"Sir, look for the Run button. Do you see the Run button?"
"Oh, um, er, hang on, oh! Yeah, I see it! Now what, Ralph?"
"Click on the Run button."
"Okay, hang on." Put down phone. Type randomly. Pull up YouTube in Safari, just 'cos. Pick up phone. "Okay."
"You should see a white box."
"Um, okay, um."
"Is there anything in it?" Seriously, Ralph? Like someone like this has ever used the Run box?
"Um, no, it's blank."
"All right, sir, I want you to type this into the box."
"Um, sure, let me get my pen and paper."
"No! You don't have to--" Put down phone. Wait. Pick up phone.
"Okay, what do you want me to write down?"
Pause. "Here. E like Edward. V like Victor. E like Edward. N like Nancy. T like Thomas. V like Victor. W like William. R like Robert."
Repeat each letter under breath. "Okay, now, you want me to type that in?"
"Yes, please."
"Okay. E-V-E-N-T-V-W-R."
"Now, sir, do you see the Run, Browse--"
"Okay, click Browse?"
"No! Don't--!"
"Oh! What's it doing? I see a window!"
"You--"
"What do I do now, Ralph?'
"Go back!"
"Back? How?"
"Hit cancel!"
"Um."
"Can you see the Start button?
"Oh, sure!"
"Click on it. Again."
"Okay, okay."
"Click on Run."
"Oh, like before? I gotcha. Okay, the box is blank."
"Type in the box."
"What you gave me before? Okay, hang on." By this point, I'm starting to get bored. Fortunately, I already have YouTube open. And... ah, the perfect song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CAV0XrbEwNc (Language warning.)
"Sir?"
"I'm here, Ralph. Now what."
"Now hit the enter key."
"Okay."
"Now, sir, what do you see?"
Place earphone over telephone mouthpiece and hit play. "I see... I see... I see Cee Lo Green! He's on my screen!"
Pause. "Sir, what's that?"
"Ralph, it's the singer, Cee Lo Green, and he has a message for you!" Cue Cee Lo and his message.

To his credit, it sounded like "Ralph" actually laughed at that point. "Have a good night, Ralph," I said, and I hung up.


* Turns out, this is an actual phone number from their website!

http://www.advancepccare.com/index.php

Oh, look, they have a testimonial!

“It has survived not only five centuries, but also the leap into etypesettingremainingessentially”

Wow! Sign me up!

Um, Did I Just See That?

Ikea commercial: Made by the Petersons



Not to be an utter spazoid, but did Mr. Neanderthal just smack his wife's tuches?

WANT: Happy Ending Stop Times

While watching Taken a while back, I reached a point early on in the film where things were rolling along nicely for our hero, so I turned to Yoko (who'd watched the movie on her own previously) and said, So, if I turn it off now, it all ends happily, right? (Of course it doesn't, but at least it was a hell of a ride.)

I was talking to my younger brother about this, and it struck me that there ought to be a website out there that chronicles at what point in a movie you can safely turn it off and believe (fallaciously, of course) that all ends well for the people involved. I am way to lazy to even think about assembling such a list (although natural targets like Old Yeller and Brazil immediately spring to mind).

Help me, IntarWebz! Where's this site?

One year, two months, one week, six days, 708 docket entries, and 138 pages later

One year, two months, one week, six days, 708 docket entries, and 138 pages later, a victory for common sense and consenting adults everywhere.

Download a copy of the final order here for free (PDF, 344kb).

Or read the Conclusion and Remedies here:

CONCLUSION

Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in
singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license.
Indeed, the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than
enshrine in the California Constitution the notion that oppositesex
couples are superior to same-sex couples. Because California
has no interest in discriminating against gay men and lesbians, and
because Proposition 8 prevents California from fulfilling its
constitutional obligation to provide marriages on an equal basis,
the court concludes that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional.

REMEDIES

Plaintiffs have demonstrated by overwhelming evidence
that Proposition 8 violates their due process and equal protection
rights and that they will continue to suffer these constitutional
violations until state officials cease enforcement of Proposition
8. California is able to issue marriage licenses to same-sex
couples, as it has already issued 18,000 marriage licenses to samesex
couples and has not suffered any demonstrated harm as a result,
see FF 64-66; moreover, California officials have chosen not to
defend Proposition 8 in these proceedings.

Because Proposition 8 is unconstitutional under both the
Due Process and Equal Protection Clauses, the court orders entry of
judgment permanently enjoining its enforcement; prohibiting the
official defendants from applying or enforcing Proposition 8 and
directing the official defendants that all persons under their
control or supervision shall not apply or enforce Proposition 8.
The clerk is DIRECTED to enter judgment without bond in favor of
plaintiffs and plaintiff-intervenors and against defendants and
defendant-intervenors pursuant to FRCP 58.

Bravo!

A House Divided

Denmark plays Japan on Thursday, June 24. Only one of them is going to advance. You can see where this might generate some tension between The Lovely Yoko and me.

To Denmark's advantage, Denmark has scored more goals (3) than Japan (2) in this World Cup, so Denmark only has to tie to advance. To Japan's advantage, Simon Kjaer, Denmark's premiere defender, has earned two yellow cards, so he's out for the Japan-Denmark match.

In my favor, Yoko doesn't really care about soccer, so no matter who comes out ahead, I think the house will stand just fine.

RIP Ronnie James Dio

Thanks for the music, man, and the \m/

Unintended Consequences? AKA, Attn: Lushes

So, today, instead of taking the bus home from work, I BARTed to 12th St., walked over to The Trappist, had a serving of their awesome Quad, called a cab, and rode home for free. I did this because the Berg Injury Lawyers are sponsoring your Cinco de Mayo celebration, or at least the not-driving-home-drunk part (pdf).

From their flyer:

Get Your Free Ride Home
The Safe and Sober Free Cab Ride Home program will be available in Alameda, Berkeley, and
Oakland as well as in San Francisco from 3 p.m. on Wednesday, May 5, through 3 a.m. on Thursday,
May 6, 2010.
• For a free ride home within Alameda, Berkeley, and Oakland city limits, call Veterans Cab at
(800) 281‐4488. Veterans Cab can provide rides home from the East Bay to San Francisco, but not
from San Francisco to the East Bay.
• For a free ride home within the city of San Francisco, call Luxor Cab at (415) 282‐4141.

So: if you're getting drunk, or if you just need a free ride home between the hours listed, from and to the locations listed, make the call, and make sure you tell them it's on Berg.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!

Dick, on BR

I am a huge fan of Philip K. Dick; I am an even huger fan of Blade Runner. I often wondered how PKD felt about how DADOES ended up as BR.

Fortunately, John Hodgman found out for me. Here's a letter from PKD to Jeff Walker, publicist for the movie Blade Runner:

http://www.philipkdick.com/new_letters-laddcompany.html

(Courtesy of philipkdick.com, the website for the PKD Trust)

Got Mac? Got Slow Youtube? Got Beauty?

I've got a Power Mac G5 with a single 1.8 Ghz PowerPC processor and (as of three weeks ago) 3.5GB of RAM. Youtube videos were still skipping, stuttering, and running slow, even at low resolutions, even when I let them load all the way up. I thought it must be my Mac.

Turns out, no. Thanks to a quick Google-search and fixya.com, I discovered that, according to Macs R We:

"This slowdown occurs on PowerPC Macs when watching movies in Windows formats (mostly WMV or AVI). A recent upgrade to Flip4Mac (the tool that allows Quicktime Player to play Windows-format videos) is the culprit, as it substituted very inefficient Silverlight code on PPCs for the efficient code in earlier versions."

He goes on to give a solution:

"The solution is to downrev Flip4Mac. Use the uninstaller tool in Applications/Flip4Mac. Then download version 2.2.1.11 of Flip4Mac from:
http://www.telestream.net/download-files/flip4mac-wmv/Flip4Mac-WMV-2.2.1.11.dmg
and run the installer. This will replace the efficient code and greatly smooth your movie viewing. If Flip4Mac urges you to upgrade back to the newer version, ignore it."

I didn't have Flip4Mac (links to Apple's page on the latest version), so I had to need to uninstall it, but installing the earlier version has, in fact, made all the difference.

For example, I can now watch this incredibly sharp, stunningly beautiful music video by Kosai Sekine (stunning director; check out more of his stuff) for Jemapur's "Beneath the Water Surface":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uukaqJWdLLQ