In Another Timeline

I think this would have been a much more interesting timeline.

Sumo!

Forget your measly March Madness. Stop pretending that baseball is exciting. Go where the action is: two men, two mawashi, one ring, one winner.

Choose excitement. Choose sumo.

The Spring Basho is now half over. There are plenty of folks still in the lead, so this could be anyone's Yusho. If you really need help appreciating this sport, get a copy of The Joy of Sumo. Then grab a cold beer and watch the flesh fly.

Striking Distance

I really loathe the SF Chronicle. It's the forced sense of cheery camraderie they add to every story. In some way, I suppose it's meant to make you think of the reporter as your next door neighbor, dressed in a bathrobe, leaning on your fence, cup of coffee in hand, pointing across the street at your suspicious neighbors and listing the juicy gossip of the morning.

Case in point: The SF Chronicle is running a story about Marcus Wesson, the polygamist and suspected mass-murderer, wherein they refer to him as a "man with [a] striking personality." He may have murdered nine people, all family members, and the SF Chronicle thinks the most important thing we need to know about him is that he had a striking personality?

Imagine the SFC tackling "dynamic and enthusiastic overachiever" Jeffrey Dahmer or "charming former painter" Adolph Hitler. Brrrr.

Give me my inverse-pyramid journalism any day of the week; just tell me who, what, where, when, why, and how. Leave the humanization bits for the biographers.

If it's worth doing...

It's worth doing all the way or not at all.

The lovely and talented tinymammoth showed me God Hates Shrimp. Brilliant.

News Flash from the Martha Stewart Trial

"Juror #3, you looking at me funny? 'Cos Mr. Voodoo Doll here thinks you've been looking at me funny."

They're rioting in Africa

Well, not at the moment, but they've finally gotten around to sending 419 Scammer email to my work address. Took 'em bloody long enough.


ATTN.Erik Nielsen,

I am Mr JOHN DANILK, the only son Mr JACOD DANILK.The former
security adviser to the ousted Sierra Leonean military head of state, AZIZ KOROMA,
I am writing to express my interest real estate or any viable investement in your country. my father died in detention a couple of yaers ago while he been detained by the new governement.

Before his untimely death, he instructed me to leave the country for my safety and start up a business in any country for my choice with a total sum $ 25,000.000.00 (twenty five million us dollars) deposited in a security and finance company here in Dakar S?n?gal. Actually, i came accross your contact through internet. I decided to seek your assistance in transferring this money for investment purpose. I have all the documents that covers the deposit which could be faxed to you upon request.

Transaction of this nature demands the highest trust and confidence between both parties. if you will prefer it. this transaction is risk free in the sense that I have taken proper care of all formalities involved. for your assistance in this transfer, I have decided to give you 15% of the total sum involved and 5% mapped out for miscelleneous expenses that we may incur during the process. I appriciate any assistance you may accord me in this capacity.

I look forward to hear from you soon,

THANKS YOU GOD BLESS YOU.

Yours sincerely.
Mr JOHN DESUMANI


Maybe I should forward this to the Governor.

It would be easy

To simply jump in and say, "No to any Constitutional Amendment banning gay marriage!" Instead, I'm going to make a very concrete proposal.

Make it known to your Representative and Senator that you will pull support from and contribute financially to the political enemies of any Representative or Senator who votes for this amendment or works to get it passed. Then stick to it. If Dianne Feinstein, for example, were crazy enough to support this amendment, then throw your vote and your support behind a third-party candidate for her Senate seat.

Spread this idea around. The more people (and organizations) that make it known, publicly, what the stakes are, the faster we can get this idiocy squished.